Hamas tunnels suspected under playground sandbox - IDF sources

‘IDF sources in ‘Tel Aviv’ disclosed to Al Sakhifa’s correspondant Thursday morning that ‘Isreal’ has gained new intelligence on the location of several top Hamas leaders.

Formerly suspected to be operating in tunnels beneath Al Shifa Hostpial in Gaza City, new intelligence received by the IDF has confirmed that a network of tunnels used by the shadowy organisation may in fact lie under a playground sandbox in southern Gaza.

“We will level every sand castle, swingset, and slide” IDF Sargent Shalit told Al Sakhifa, “we must root out Palestinian childr… i mean Hamas from all parts of the Gaza strip.” When asked about the mounting international calls to end the blatant genocide on the Palestinian people, Shalit replied “we will never stop until every Palestini… um… militant! has been eradicated from this land!”

US Foreign Secretary Antony Blinken reaffirmed his country’s committment to ‘Isreal’ stating “it’s a sandbox now, jesus fucking christ isn’t that where children play? oh, um, i mean, well sources have indicated that Hamas does in fact um, top level sources have indicated to us that Hamas is in fact now hiding in playground sandboxes, and we stand committed to ‘Isreals’ right to defend itself with no restrictions.”

As the IDF presses forward, humanitarian conditions are expected to worsen for the small strip of land. Hours ago as of writing, Paltel confirmed extensive network disruptions due to lack of fuel. “Don’t worry about them stupid Americans, they don’t like gay people,” Shalit told Al Sakifa.

This story is still developing