Yakubians Celebrate a Successful Genocide

“Americans” gather to exchange racist pleasantries

American National Hero and Eater of over 30,000 Big Mac’s (30.0 kBMcs) Donald A. Gorske

Des Moines: A damp smell of manure lingers on the air over the quietly unmemorable town. A lone plastic shopping bag floats through a Wal Mart parking lot past large recreational vehicles with confederate flags. In the distance, the sound of a man wearing a tank top smacking his wife is heard. “Thanksgiving” is upon the United States.

Al Sakhifa correspondent Farah Aziz had a chance to speak with Yakubian Matthew Thomas, owner of a Sea Doo dealership and two first names, during the “holiday” in which they consume absurd amounts of bland food while abusing women and minorities:

We thank the lord on this day for the bounty he has given us. May he deliver us from all of the woke mob and the transgenders and muslims. Next year we pray that trump will protect us from them mexicans and smoke those pakistanis in gaza [sic]

Aziz: What do you think of the humanitarian pause which is to begin tomorrow?

All the muslims and the transgender mexicans need to get out of my backyard [sic]. Barrack Hussein Obama and (Mr. Thomas belches) Biden are ruining the (another belch) great white nation.

Across the street, a concrete and glass “mega church” called “The Stone” emits a low and muddled tone of boring white christian music. Al Sakihfa caught up with Pastor David Roberts to ask him what the holiday meant to his congregation:

Pastor David Roberts

I don’t know what she said this time, but it was consensual. That’s all I have to say.

Aziz: I’m not sure what you are talking about sir. Would you care to elabourate on the sign you are holding?

Oh ‘Death to Hummus’, ya well, these terrorists are coming into our country from mexico, with the inflation… and Mr. Trump says he’s going to build a wall… say are you married? anyways, we’re calling on President trump to nuke Hummus [sic]

When asked if he knew the difference between the organisation governing the Gaza strip, and the delicious spread made from chickpeas, Mr. Roberts replied:

Are you a mexican?

As the sun set on Des Moines, one can only stop and wonder, what is this place? What is this species? Is there any hope for these creatures? There is not.